Either you have it or you don’t. No degrees in medicine or philosophy could ever bestow you with the brazen attitude (or is that audacity), that being a doctor of this sort requires.

Let me describe it to you. A spin doctor helps someone else out of the corner they have painted themselves into. Except of course they haven’t painted themselves into a corner. In fact there’s no paint, and there’s not even a corner, come to that.

Is there?

In “reality” someone has merely paused temporarily on one the other side of the room while they reassess their options before issuing a public statement.

In other words you get to cover up the gaffes, goofs, and extra martial affairs of your clients, by putting the whole mess down to being “a misunderstanding”. Your clients are usually married politicians, married celebrities, and married anyone-elses who are somehow in the public domain.

In fact spin doctors have been responsible for covering up some of the biggest rorts and scandals in recent times. How? Well you take a fight fire with fire approach. If you can’t somehow explain away one person’s “difficulty” then you simply create a diversion, and point the spot light on someone else.

And this means keeping close tabs on the (soon to be former) friends and acquaintances of the aforementioned married politicians, married celebrities, and other married “hanger-oners”.

It also helps having your ear to the ground, your finger on the pulse, and knowing what a bevy of politicians, celebrities, and sure, even a couple of bloggers, are up to. That way when a client calls up needing help, you are instantly able to divert the media’s attention onto some other poor sod’s misdemeanours.

You also need to be handy with neologisms, and ready to fire off terms like values migration and paradigm shift, the second you see a reporter or camera crew come into sight.

Also you need to be able to go back on yourself without appearing to, and devise, often on the fly and with scant information, elaborate and confusing stories designed to send the media scurrying down blind allies.

Yes, sir, it’s a tough job, but someone has to do it.

Ironically, with their quick thinking, and mental dexterity, “spinners” could probably solve many of the world’s problems. Sadly though, another waste of talent and ability. And tax payers’ money.

Actually now that I think about it, there’s nothing the least bit glamourous, or fabulous, about this sort of work at all. Where’s the prestige in airing one person’s dirty laundry, while concealing someone else’s at the same time?

But a good spin doctor can do something about even that. Can’t they?

Alternatively you could try saying “I work in public relations, but my work is classified.” Actually don’t mention the public relations bit, and people will think you’re a spy.

And trust me, people will be a lot happier to talk to a spy at a dinner party, than a spin doctor.