If you want to be an accountant you go to university for three years. If you want to be a lawyer you go for six. There’s a lot to be said for these university type places isn’t there? Do a degree in your field of interest, and then get a job in your field of interest. Easy, right?

But not quite so if you want to be a… Rock Star. And that’s unfortunate because there’s a lot of people who would like the idea of becoming a Rock Star by doing a degree, in er, Rock Star-ery. If only it were that simple.

But no, it’s just a little harder than that. You need talent, ambition, persistence, charisma, and preferably an ability to work the media. Like Oasis used to. Bigger than the Beatles? Heck no, but did they stir up controversy (read: publicity) with those comments, or what?

As a Rock Star you also need a thick skin. And not just to stop bags developing under your eyes after partying for 21 days and nights non-stop (which is compulsory in this line of work, but the way). You need it so that when (your former friends) the media trash that “difficult second album”, you’ll take all it with a smile, and say “Well, third time lucky, then.”

Being a Rock Star isn’t just about zapping around the world, in a Learjet, playing sell out concerts in super-sized arenas. It’s about dealing with your fans ever declining expectations, as each album succeeding your brilliant “the next Beatles” like debut, slides further and further into mediocrity.

Being a Rock Star isn’t about penning Led Zeppelin “Stairway to Heaven” type classics with each and every album, it’s trying to work out there the creative spark went, and why you can’t write a single decent chorus, let alone song, anymore.

Nor is it about flying to tropical island paradises to record albums, or having queues of groupies waiting outside your hotel room, but rather never being able to walk along the street unrecognised, or being able to buy a coffee without getting mobbed. In fact, you can’t even enter the meat tray raffle at the local pub anymore, because if you win the press will say you rigged the contest!

So I ask, is it really for you? Being a Rock Star requires cool and attitude, something a university degree can neither teach, or impart.

Then again Mick Jagger of The Rolling Stones considers the iconic band a business enterprise, not a creative collective. How’s that, then? The original bad boys of rock were in fact working to a business plan, not a desire to rebel.

Righto then, I’m cancelling the guitar lessons, and if I’m quick, I just may be able to grab one of the last places in this year’s accounting intake at the local university…

Acting has to be best job ever, right? I mean you get to work with all those stars, socialise with all those stars (and go to all those decadent parties to boot), and maybe even marry one or two (or five) of those stars. (Just not all at the same time though, please!)

At other times you travel the world, and visit exotic locations to “work”, and stay in five star hotels each night. Then there’s the times you walk the red carpet on premiere night, applauded by an adoring public. Doesn’t leave much time to work on that acceptance speech should when you win that Oscar!

Well all of that may be true, but first you’ve got to get into drama school. (And sometimes that in itself is harder than landing a role in a movie!) Then you have to complete the course and graduate. Then you have to compete for the attention of a casting agent. That is compete with all the other acting graduates, not just from your acting school, but all the other schools as well!

To say nothing of the competition from the experienced actors! And while we’re on the subject, how many out-of-work actors are there again? Why do so many actors refer to that something called their “lucky break”? Even the best known ones? I thought lucky breaks were for other people, not actors!

Sure acting is fun, challenging, and glamourous. Finding acting work however, may not be.

But then again, what’s so glamorous about all those late night shoots? And the early morning shoots? As in 3-am early, shots? How about having to lose 20 kilos for a role? How about having to gain 20 kilos for a role?

And how about all those fans? How about the extra persistent ones, who seem to somehow get hold of your mobile phone number, your address, and your private photo collection, and try and auction the whole lot off over the internet? Ah, the price of fame!

How about having the paparazzi camped on your doorstep, day and night, waiting for that candid, and often less than flattering photo “op”?

So, no, I’m not saying discount acting as a career, (seriously!) if it’s meant to be, it’s meant to be, but honestly winning millions in lotto just might be easier!

Of course a Hollywood talent scout may be working undercover at your workplace and has already informed his superiors of your hilarious antics at the water cooler.

Excuse me, have to go, I think that is the phone call I’ve been “waiting for”…